Before You Quit, Ask What This is Trying to Teach You! (Part 8)

[00:00:01] Imagine for a moment a mother sitting at her kitchen table after everyone has gone to bed. It's finally time to really step back and look at the situation. What had just happened? There are unopened boxes stacked against the wall and a notebook lies in front of her. At the top of the page she's written,

[00:00:29] What did I do wrong? She launched the product, posted the photographs, sent all the emails, asked people to share. And then she waited and a few orders came in. But not what she had prepared for. She had prepared for at least 100. That was the mark that she was trying to reach.

[00:00:59] Now the house is quiet. And every unsold box feels like evidence. Perhaps the idea that she came up with was foolish. These are the thoughts that she's thinking right now. Maybe she was never as capable as she thought, as she envisioned herself to be. Maybe the people who doubted her and laughed behind her,

[00:01:28] her back were right. But what she cannot see yet is that those orders, those few orders are not proof that she should quit. They are a few orders that are actually people. There are people behind those orders. That believed in it.

[00:01:58] That believed in it. And that she can learn from. Those unsold boxes are not a verdict on her future, on her destiny, on her calling. They are information about her very first attempt. Tomorrow, she will open her notebook again. She will cross out what is wrong with me. What did I do wrong? And she will write a better question.

[00:02:29] What is this result trying to teach me? Okay, guys, buckle in because this is going to be too good of a conversation to miss. Get comfortable. Grab your favorite people. Grab your favorite healthy snack. And let's go. Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right, babe?

[00:03:03] She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a $100 million clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together, we started a business. And had babies. Now, we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:03:32] Hello, my friend. And welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable. Brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. And we are still on this journey for moms. Our little mini series of mom supporting moms. Where we talk honestly about what it takes to build something meaningful while raising a family. Protecting what matters.

[00:04:00] And becoming the people God created us to be. I am so grateful you are here. I'm Ildiko Ferenczi, your host. And in our last episode, we talked about staying beside a mother when something she built doesn't work out. We talked about allowing disappointment to be disappointing. Quite frankly, it's going to hurt.

[00:04:29] Disappointment will hurt. There's nothing we could do about that. Because a woman should not have to disguise her pain to make everyone around her comfortable. But eventually, when she has had the time to breathe and take it all in and step back and take a look at the picture, another moment arrives. Right?

[00:04:58] The moment when she's now ready to look at what happened. And we have to go into this moment. And it's not as punishment. It's not to let any of the negative voices that said, I told you so. I said you weren't going to be able to do it. You can't afford to do that. You can't afford to. Whatever it is.

[00:05:27] It's to learn. It's to learn. It's to step back and learn. Today is about that moment. Because support is not only helping a woman feel better. Sometimes support is helping her see more clearly. And she's going to learn such valuable lessons. Because it's not a mistake. It's a lesson.

[00:05:55] Sometimes a very expensive one, I may add. But it is. It's a lesson. When something does not work out, most of us make the same, yes, mistake. We turn a business result into a personal description. That's the mistake. We let it label us. The launch struggled. So I must not be talented.

[00:06:25] These are the thoughts that come at us. We can't help it. We are human. The post received little attention. So nobody cares what I have to say. Or it could be the proposal was rejected. So I'm not ready for meaningful opportunities. Or the product did not sell well. So the entire idea must be wrong. Those are feelings. Those are feelings. They may be real.

[00:06:55] But they are not the same as facts. The fact might be 100 people visited the page. Several joined the email list. Three purchased. Five people began checking out. But they didn't finish. That is completely different from saying nobody wanted it.

[00:07:23] When we use shame, shame to interpret information, we lose the lesson hiding inside of it. You're not the result. You're the person responsible for studying the result. That's where growth begins. Here is the factual step that I want to talk about with you.

[00:07:50] What we need to do is we need to figure out what actually happened. Write down what happened without using any kind of emotional language. So don't talk about, or don't even, don't even take, what am I trying to say? Don't even give that thought weight. The launch was embarrassing. Don't write that down.

[00:08:19] Don't, don't even consider that. Whatever thought that comes immediately into your mind, don't write the negative thing down. Write the fact. I launched for seven days. 200 people saw the offer. 12 clicked, 12 clicked, three purchased. And say if it was your content.

[00:08:46] I know many of us say, oh, my content is terrible. Don't, don't give that any weight. Don't confirm that. It's this video received fewer views, but the people who watched stayed longer. And three sent me a message. And if you have the product and it didn't sell. Don't confirm everyone hated the product.

[00:09:16] Perhaps that's the thought that comes in initially. But look at the facts. Seven customers used it. Four returned. Two purchased again. One asked for a larger size. Numbers. They may not tell the entire story, but they prevent emotion from rewriting it. Begin with what you know.

[00:09:46] How many people saw the offer? How many people, how many stopped to learn more? How many asked a question? How many began purchasing? How many completed the purchase? These are all the different questions we need to ask before we just judge ourselves. What else? How many returned? How many told someone else?

[00:10:13] A business cannot improve a story if it is afraid to examine the facts. Now we need to find the real problem. A disappointing result does not automatically mean the idea was bad. Throw that out. Throw that out with the bathwater. The problem, it could have been the product.

[00:10:42] But it also could have been the message. Perhaps people did not understand what the product would do for them. It could have been the price. It could have been the timing. It could have been a confusing checkout page. You know those websites that we get to and it either fails and we're so busy with the kids.

[00:11:07] We want the product, but we can't spend 15 minutes putting it through again. It could be something that simple. For example, the other day, I have a cracked windshield. The crack is huge. Somehow we didn't get it done in time and very quickly it cracked. And I was calling to get some estimates because we got babies. Okay? We can't drive around like that.

[00:11:36] And whoever says you can, I'd be very questionable about those people in your life. But the crack is huge. I called one company and it was an AI. It sounded great because it was asking all the right questions. But then when it came to getting the VIN number in there or whatever it's called. Okay? I'm not a car person.

[00:12:04] I think maybe that's what it's called. Who knows? Whatever. The number. Okay? The big long number that identifies your car and the make and gives all the information. I gave it to the machine, I swear, like 10 times. And then I was done with it. And I remember feeling bad for the company because I'm wondering if they know that they have this glitch with their AI software.

[00:12:32] And I went ahead and guess who I dealt with? The woman that was very kind, helpful, and just tried to get me the best deal in a reasonable way where we're both going to be happy. So it could have just been a confusing checkout page. It could have been, it could have been a lack of trust without you even knowing, right?

[00:13:01] These are all things to think about. It could have been that the right people never saw it. The message didn't get to the people that needed it. These are very different problems and they require different solutions. If the problem is visibility, changing the product will not fix it. Do you see why these questions are so important?

[00:13:28] If people are interested, but abandoning the purchase, guess what's not going to help? Posting more frequently with viral content, perhaps most likely is not going to fix it. Or if customers buy once, but they never return a prettier logo, right? Or, or presentation is not going to fix it.

[00:13:56] It's got to be something that needs to be adjusted with the product itself, not the packaging. And, and don't repair everything at once. Find the place where people stopped moving forward. And that is the clue. That is a clue to where you begin looking. And I want to slide into this important point. Compliments are not the same as evidence.

[00:14:24] This is difficult because the people who love us, they want to protect us. Okay. They say that is adorable. Or they say that is so beautiful. I would absolutely buy that. You are going to do so well. And their encouragement, it really, truly, it matters a lot to us. But enthusiasm from, from our friends and family, it's not going to be the same as customer behavior.

[00:14:55] Someone saying that she, she would buy is different from someone that doesn't know us, that doesn't have an attachment, a heart attachment to us. A person liking a post that supports us is different from, from joining the email list or even a person that doesn't know us. But there's just not enough, uh, captivation or it's not captivating enough to join the email list.

[00:15:24] These are important clues. A large audience is, is different. We talk about this all the time is different from an audience that trusts the offer enough to act. Why are micro influencers so powerful right now? Because they have a more honed in audience. When I was talking about that podcast of how I just wanted to, I didn't, I didn't want all the followers.

[00:15:52] I just wanted to get out there and remove anybody that didn't have the same mindset as me because I've changed a lot. And many of us change over the years and with our business accounts or even our personal accounts, we want to make sure that everyone that's following us is aligned, is aligned with us. And sometimes that may mean finding value in a smaller audience, right?

[00:16:20] So we'll talk more about that a different, a different time. But so I just, I just want to pull back again. This does not mean that those compliments that we receive from people that care and that love us and support us are dishonest. That's not what it means. It means, it means options and, and actions answer different questions.

[00:16:49] So when people have an option, what do they do with that? And those are the strangers, the, the people out there, the audience. If you want to understand someone's experience, talk to her, talk to her.

[00:17:03] If you want to know whether someone will purchase, create a small, honest opportunity for her or the family or your audience, whoever you're talking to, your avatar to purchase. Behavior gives you evidence that, that encouragement alone will not provide.

[00:17:31] And we know this, we know this, but sometimes we just have to be reminded that sometimes we hear people say, oh, that is so good. That looks so perfect. I know that's going to go. But we need to honestly connect with the people that we're selling to our avatar. And we have to be crystal clear on that. Ask questions that teach you something. When you speak with customers, resist the urge to ask, do you like it?

[00:18:01] Most people will say yes. Ask about what actually happened. What were you trying to solve when you found this? Those types of questions or, or what made you hesitate before buying this? If you have the ability to have a conversation with one of your clients, like an honest conversation like this, it is gold. It is, it is treasure.

[00:18:29] Or, or what about what almost stopped you from ordering? Was there anything that almost stopped you from ordering? Or what did you compare this with, this service or product? Was anything in this process confusing? What did you expect that, that you didn't receive? This may sting a little, but you need to know. What would have made this easier to use?

[00:18:56] And then just listen without explaining every decision or, or justifying why, why, why you made the decision or created the product a certain way. Don't, don't talk them out of their experience because I know it does. It stings. It stings to hear, but this is just listen.

[00:19:25] Don't even answer, just write it down and examine it later. It's going to be uncomfortable. I'm going to tell you right now, it's going to be uncomfortable, but you will learn so much. When someone says she found the website confusing, you may want to explain why it was designed that way. But just, just zip it and listen, because you can change so, so much. Don't defend the maze.

[00:19:55] Learn where she became lost. Or maybe she didn't have a lot of time, like me, with the babies. Or, or that AI avatar person I was talking to the other day. It was crazy. It was a terrible experience. But I was so excited for the first little bit. It seemed so easy. I was like, oh my gosh, everybody needs this. I know what this is. This is AI. And then when it just stopped understanding, could you repeat that?

[00:20:24] Would you repeat? Oh my gosh. So listen, feedback is not something negative. And you don't have to follow every suggestion, but you want to start looking for patterns, commonalities. One, one, one opinion. It may be, it may be just that, but look for the patterns. The same difficulty appearing repeatedly is going to be the signal.

[00:20:53] That's going to tell you what you need to do differently. I mean, you don't need to, but what you could if you want to have success. And I want to encourage you, test small before you build again. Now we arrive at one of the most useful lessons in entrepreneurship.

[00:21:15] You do not have to rebuild the entire business to test a better decision. Because there's a better decision and you don't have to, you don't have to, it feels like it's an enormous thing, no more enormous mountain that you're going to have to climb. Oh my gosh, we've got to change everything. Test the smallest version that can teach you something.

[00:21:43] Start small before ordering another hundred products. Offer a pre-order. See what happens. Before recording an entire course, teach one live workshop to see how it goes. Before creating 20 designs, show two clear options and observe which one people choose.

[00:22:12] Before spending heavily because you could spend a lot on advertising. Test two versions of the message with a modest budget and see where it takes you. Before creating the content or recording the podcast or writing, whatever it is that you're building, right?

[00:22:42] Before doing it in complete isolation, share the premise and study. Which part makes people lean in closer? Which one do they relate to? It's like writing a book, writing the content. Where are they leaning in to learn? A small test is not thinking small. You don't want to think small.

[00:23:10] It's the act of doing something small. It's protecting your family's resources while gathering better evidence. So you don't want to blow your whole allowance in one test. You got to start small and change one meaningful thing at a time. Just one thing at a time. Have a checklist. Mark it off.

[00:23:36] If you change the price, photograph, headline, audience, and offer simultaneously, you may get a better result without knowing what caused it. Change one important variable. Choose what success would look like before the test begins. Run the test and then write down, record what happened.

[00:24:04] So if you want to write it down or record it on your voice memo, whatever you do to document your journey with your business. And then make the next decision from evidence rather than being panicked and then not even understand what changed because you did 10 different things at the same time. So this is why it's important to do one thing at a time. Plus it's cheaper, right?

[00:24:33] There's more value to start small in step at a time, not only by what you learn, but what you spend. And sometimes we misunderstand perseverance. Perhaps we believe it means doing the same thing repeatedly with more intensity, but we must be wise because we may need to change the packaging with what we learned, with the

[00:25:03] information, the questions that we asked ourselves, correct? We may need to change the packaging, right? We need to change the message. Perhaps that's the thing. Not always, but many times. Or narrow the audience. Zoom in to our avatar. The person that's dealing with the problem or is looking for a solution that's going to change everything for themselves. Simplify the offer.

[00:25:32] Sometimes it's too complicated. Remove a feature nobody needs. Just the little things. Add the support customers repeatedly request. They're going to tell you what they want. Or release an idea that is consuming resources without serving the people you hoped to serve. That's also going to save you some funds.

[00:26:00] Changing the strategy is not going to cut out the calling or diminish it or void the calling. The purpose may remain while the method grows wiser. And there's going to be even pivot moments. There's going to be moments of growth.

[00:26:27] And sometimes the most courageous sentence a founder can say is, I still believe in what I'm building, but I know more now than I knew when I began. And I hope that that's the statement. Because it has to be. I've learned so... Everything I've done in life or gone after, I've learned so much. And that's even in my marriage.

[00:26:57] Even raising children, becoming a mother. I know more now than when I began. Just that. Just that. Admitting that. Declaring that. Can change the entire story. The journey. In a really, really, really good way. If you love a mother in this season,

[00:27:23] we need to be careful with the questions that we ask. Because we need to support her while she's learning. Learning and growth, sometimes it's difficult. So we don't want to begin with things like, how much money did you lose? Or are you finally done with this? Are you going to throw this idea out the window? Or why didn't you listen to me? I told you.

[00:27:50] We got to ask different questions. Bigger questions. More positive, growth, encouraging questions like, what did you learn? What response surprised you about this? Where did people seem interested? Where did people become uncertain? What is the smallest thing you could test next?

[00:28:20] And perhaps most importantly, what would help you think clearly right now? She may need honesty. She may need someone who can offer honesty without enjoying her disappointment. You know the difference. And hopefully we don't have those people in our lives. Because that would be yucky and gross.

[00:28:50] The safest people are not the ones who agree with everything we do. They are the ones who can tell us the truth without making us feel foolish for having tried. Or making us want to give up on something we believe we're called to do. Because we're the ones praying every day for the answer. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this.

[00:29:18] What if the energy boost you're looking for isn't in your cup, but in your cells? I challenge you to swap your morning coffee for Shilajit by Symbiotica. And here's what can happen. No crash. No jitters. Just clean, sustained energy. Plus mental clarity and trace minerals that our bodies actually need. That are actually starving for, to be honest.

[00:29:48] This isn't just a supplement. It's an ancient adaptogen sourced from the Himalayas that supports mycochondrial function, stamina, and overall vitality. Your coffee never did that. Okay, let's just be honest. Try it for a week and tell me your body doesn't thank you. Symbiotica's Shilajit is next level wellness. And honestly, you may never go back to drinking coffee.

[00:30:16] Click the link below down in the bio and get your Shilajit today. I want to take you to a Bible moment right now because this is so good. In the book of Proverbs chapter 24, verse 16, we read, Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again. I love that it doesn't say that they never fall. It says they rise.

[00:30:45] And when you rise, you don't have to leave the lesson behind. You can bring it with you. You can ask better questions, make a wiser decision, and try a different approach. Faith does not ask us to ignore what happened. We can pray and pay attention. We can trust God and change the plan.

[00:31:13] Sometimes God answers our prayer by opening the door. And sometimes he answers by teaching us what we need when the next door opens. So good, isn't it? Grab your journals and something to write with. If you're able to do it right now, I want to invite you to take part in this.

[00:31:37] If you're driving or caring for your children, let these questions stay with you until you have a moment of quiet. Think about something that did not work as you expected. I want you to write what actually happened. Use facts. Use the truth. What did people see? What did they do?

[00:32:09] Where did they stop? And then ask, what did I assume without testing? What did my customer do that surprised me? What question have I been avoiding because I'm afraid of the answer? Am I protecting the purpose?

[00:32:38] Or am I protecting my first vision of the plan? What is one small change I can test before investing more time and money? And then finally, what did this experience teach me that I could not have learned by remaining comfortable? Unchangeable.

[00:33:11] Unchangeable. And don't use this page or what you've learned to prosecute yourself or punish yourself in any way. We're going to use this honesty to become wiser. And if anything else comes to your heart, write that down too. So let's come up with the legacy challenge this week.

[00:33:38] Your legacy challenge is to conduct one honest review. Choose one offer, product, service, an event, or a piece of content that didn't perform as you had hoped. Just write down the facts. Locate the point of friction. Speak with three people who may have experienced it or seen it.

[00:34:09] Ask about what they actually did or felt, not what they think they might do someday. And then choose one meaningful change. Test it on a small scale. See what happens. Your assignment here is not to prove that the original idea was perfect. Your assignment is to discover what the next version needs.

[00:34:37] What we could do differently. How we can grow. Add growth to what we're building. I just want you to remember this as we come to close here soon. Your first attempt was never required to ever become the final form. Don't ever look at it this way. You're allowed to learn in public.

[00:35:02] You're allowed to have others witness this experience that you're going through. Don't feel bad about it. You're allowed to discover that part of the plan that was incorrect, that was wrong. We're learning. We're learning. We're allowed to discover. In fact, that's what we're encouraged to do.

[00:35:25] And you're allowed to become better at explaining, telling your story, pricing, creating, selling, leading, and listening. You don't need to be ashamed of the experience that taught you something, that just imagining couldn't.

[00:35:54] Right? Because we all see it in our mind's eye. We imagine it. But it's not until you actually get up. My son has a speech about the power of words, but he also shares the experience of the man in the arena. There's a lot of people that talk and laugh and point and your podcast will never work. It's so silly. Or your business will never work.

[00:36:24] Your social media will never work. It's so ridiculous. How embarrassing. Everybody's making fun. Those are the people that don't go out and do the big thing. They don't want to fall in front of people. It's the man in the arena. It hurts. He falls. He gets up. Right? That takes courage.

[00:36:54] That's the difference. The mother sitting at the kitchen table with just a few orders is not looking at proof that she should disappear. Poof. There's proof. It didn't work. I told you. You won't be able to pay for the rent. You won't be able to afford those lessons for your children. Whatever it is. Okay? Block it out. Block it out. Pray to God. He's got the answer.

[00:37:23] Don't listen to the nonsense. She's looking at those first few people who trusted enough to teach her. That's what you're looking at. Don't look at it as a failure. It's a lesson. Why did they buy? She has something now that she didn't have before. She has evidence. She has experience.

[00:37:51] And the opportunity to begin again, this time with wisdom. She didn't fail. She found what was needed to change. That's powerful. And on that note, let's come together in prayer. When two or more come together, everything, everything changes. Let me tell you. Let us pray.

[00:38:21] Dear Heavenly Father, God, thank you for meeting us in the places where our plans did not unfold as we hoped. Meet us in those places where it didn't go perfectly. Protect us from confusing an outcome with our identity. That is not who we are.

[00:38:49] It's just what we went through. It's what we learned. Give us the humility to listen, the courage to examine the truth, and the wisdom to recognize what needs to change. Show us what. Show us what to continue. What to improve. And what to release.

[00:39:13] Help us receive useful feedback without allowing every opinion to control us. Teach us to steward our time, money, gifts, and family responsibilities with care. Place honest and compassionate people around us.

[00:39:38] And when another woman, mother, family, husband, other parents are learning through disappointment. Help us become people who offer truth without shame and support without judgment. When we fall, help us rise with greater wisdom, stronger faith, and clearer direction.

[00:40:09] And speak through us. Guide every step. We say this in Jesus' name. Amen. Listen, if a mother or someone came to mind during this episode, send it to them. Not because you think they failed. Because you want her to remember or them to remember that learning is part of building. It is. It's beautiful.

[00:40:40] I know it hurts. It hurts when you're going through it. And just listen. If you are the mother or the person beginning again, save this episode and return to the journal moment when you're ready. If these conversations are helping you, follow the Entrepreneur Parent Podcast. Push every button. Support. Support. Support me as a mother.

[00:41:06] I love to support the mothers out there, the fathers, the families, the businesses, the things that you're building. So push every button for me too. And leave five golden stars with a kind review. Your support helps other mothers, fathers, and families discover the show. We need this community. Sometimes we don't have the support around us. We really don't.

[00:41:33] So this is the community that we need and it helps those people just get away from that discouragement and the negativity. And you can also help support little Daniel and Destiny at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneur kids legacy.

[00:41:56] Listen, if you're raising courageous young leaders, listen to the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show. Many of you are, if you don't know, our screen-free learning podcast. It is created. It is created to plant seeds of faith, leadership, entrepreneurship, character, and purpose early in life. Our children need this. We needed this as children.

[00:42:25] So listen together as a family. And if you want to leave a gift to help produce or sponsor the show for them, go ahead at that buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneur kids legacy. And if you want to buy me a coffee, I would gladly accept. Yes, as moms, we are building.

[00:42:54] And we're putting ourselves on the line. It takes a lot. We're investing in it. So yes, buy me a coffee. Any gift. I really, really, truly appreciate it. And you can leave it there too. Please leave a message. Please leave a message. Introduce yourself. And I'd love to know how I could pray for you. Support your family and what they're building.

[00:43:18] Next, we will close this Mom Supporting Mom series with the ripple effect. What happens when a mother is supported long enough to succeed. And how her courage can change far more than just her own life. So I'm excited to have that conversation with you. Until next time, protect what matters.

[00:43:44] Keep building your family's legacy and remember the people in front of you. They're a part of the God-given destiny. The calling. God bless you. Glory to God always. We love you. I can't wait to talk to you again soon. And don't forget to introduce yourselves. Please come. Come to the social media channels. Come to the children's and introduce yourselves. And let us know what you're working on.

[00:44:13] And if you have a great piece of content, let me know that you want me to share it. That's what our page is for. God bless you. We love you. Talk soon. Thank you, beautiful friends, for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about.

[00:44:34] Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family. It's Kada Osnod.

[00:45:15] Remember, you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

[00:45:39] The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business. Thank you.