MOM, WATCH ME, The Hidden Question Your Child May Really Be Asking!

[00:00:00] Valvoline Instant Oil Change presents Wisdom from the Road. Summer means wide open spaces and a whole lot of extra miles. The last place you want your engine to give out is halfway to nowhere. Out here, low oil or a weak battery is just an ambush waiting to happen. That's why every oil change at Valvoline Instant Oil Change includes an 18-point maintenance check. These techs are trained to help spot issues early and give you a riding easy. Valvoline Instant Oil Change wisely.

[00:00:31] We've all heard it. Mommy, watch me! You look up, your child jumps, that's it, just jumps, and you smile. That was amazing, darling. Immediately, watch again! So, you watch again. This time, apparently the jump is slightly different. Then comes another. Mommy, but watch this one! And another.

[00:01:00] Wait, wait, you didn't see it! If you have children, you know exactly what I'm talking about. They want us to watch everything. The jump, the spin, the picture they drew, how fast they could run, and the bug they found outside or inside in our house lately. The babies are finding little spiders. And that's another one. Mommy, come here! There's a spider!

[00:01:28] The Lego tower that absolutely cannot wait another 30 seconds, even five seconds in my house. And usually, they ask at exactly the wrong time. And you're making dinner. Someone needs help. The phone is ringing. You're trying to answer that one last email. There are groceries melting on the counter.

[00:01:57] And somehow, one child cannot find a shoe. And then, from another room. Mommy! Watch me! And the other day, I found myself thinking about this after I had a conversation with someone in the community. I found myself thinking about two little words. Watch me!

[00:02:24] Because perhaps sometimes, they mean more than we realize. Maybe a child isn't only saying, watch what I could do. Perhaps underneath it, there's another question. Did you see me? And I know you don't want to hear this. I know you don't want to hear this.

[00:02:52] But one day, they'll stop asking. And oh my gosh, may that day never find us. But there will be a last. There will be a last mommy watching me. A last little hand pulling at your sleeve. Perhaps a last cartwheel across the living room. A last daddy look.

[00:03:16] And the strange thing is, we probably won't know it's the last time when it happens. So today isn't a conversation about becoming a perfect parent. I feel that that's pressure a lot of us have. Is becoming these perfect parents. There's no such thing. Please release that burden now.

[00:03:44] And it's not about dropping everything every single time your child calls your name. Because I know that's not possible. Especially when you're in one room changing a diaper. Keeping another child alive. And you know, neither can I. Neither can you. Neither can anyone in the world. Be there every single time. But this is simply a conversation about recognizing something sacred.

[00:04:11] Hiding inside something incredibly ordinary. Because sometimes watch me isn't a request for applause. It's a request for connection. So get comfortable. Grab the person or the people that you love. Grab a healthy snack. And again, get comfortable. Because we're about to have a great conversation. Let's go.

[00:04:48] Oh, that's better, right babe? She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles.

[00:05:18] As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. Hello, my friends. And welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable. The Legacy Conversations bonus series. A special edition brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. A community of strong families building lives of faith, courage, purpose, and lasting legacy. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenci.

[00:05:48] And first of all, it's an honor to be here. I'm so grateful to be here with you guys. And today I would love to talk about something so small you could miss it. Two words. Watch me. Because every child is filled with these tiny invitations. And if we're not careful, we can become so busy creating a beautiful life for our children

[00:06:17] that we miss the moments when they're asking us to step inside the life they're experiencing right now in this moment. Have you ever noticed that children don't only want to accomplish something? There's something deeper. They immediately look for you.

[00:06:41] Your son kicks a ball on a soccer field and looks towards the sideline. See if you saw it. A little girl finishes her dance and searches the room. They do something that to them and to you is extraordinary. And they look to see if you saw it. They draw something and they run to find you.

[00:07:10] And you're, for me, my son on a stage, scanning to see where I am in the audience. To see if I saw the whole thing. Do you see the whole thing, mommy? Do you think grandma in heaven saw? Right? They're always looking to find you, to watch, to see if you're looking. Look. Did you see? Why?

[00:07:39] Well, it's because there's something beautiful about experiencing something and then sharing it with someone you love. Think about adults. We do it too. Something wonderful happens and who do you call? You know who you call. Or something wonderful, you know something wonderful is happening to someone else and you know they're going to call. Or perhaps they don't call and you wonder, what?

[00:08:09] Am I not the first person that you call? Or something hilarious happens. Well, who do you text next? You see a beautiful sunset and sometimes your first instinct is, I wish they were here to see this. I wish they were with me. And really think about it. Perhaps our children aren't so different.

[00:08:35] Sometimes they're simply saying, come into my world for a second. Not forever. Just come see this with me. Come see what I've done. There's an important difference between giving a child attention and helping a child feel seen. We can be around the children all day. We could be around it. Listen, really, we can be around our children all day long. Even our spouse.

[00:09:06] And still miss opportunities for connection. So sometimes people are dumbfounded. They're so confused. Like, I'm around all the time. I'm here all the time. What are you complaining about? Right? As adults, you hear this battle or this argument or this head butting. You hear about it. Gosh, I'm here. I'm here all the time. But the other person feels lonely.

[00:09:35] Valvoline Instant Oil Change presents Wisdom from the Road. Summer means wide open spaces and a whole lot of extra miles. The last place you want your engine to give out is halfway to nowhere. Out here, low oil or a weak battery is just an ambush waiting to happen. That's why every oil change at Valvoline Instant Oil Change includes an 18-point maintenance check. These texts are trained to help spot issues early and keep you riding easy. Valvoline Instant Oil Change Wisely.

[00:10:05] Listen, we can also be incredibly busy yet create these tiny moments where a child feels deeply known. Our spouse too. Relationship researchers, I know you know this couple, Dr. John and Julie Gottman, often talk about something called a bid for connection. Right? We've heard this.

[00:10:35] We've heard this. So if you haven't, a bid can be incredibly small. So for adults, it's, oh, did you see that bird out the window? You're not really interested in the bird, right? But you just want to have a conversation. And if your spouse misses that and they don't pay attention, well, they missed the bid for connection.

[00:11:01] Well, now with our children, it could be incredibly small. It could be a mommy or daddy. Daddy, look. Daddy, watch this. Mom, watch this. Come see what I made. Can I tell you something? Sometimes it's not even words. It's a child bringing you a drawing, right?

[00:11:25] The special, beautiful drawing that took, that took their Picasso moment. They're bringing you their beautiful art. Or they're sitting unusually close to you. Not even saying a word, but they keep moving closer. For me, I know my son or my daughter will walk into the kitchen while I'm cooking.

[00:11:52] And if we don't happen to be having a conversation that day, they just wrap their arms around my legs or my waist, depending how tall they are. But this is something that's happened many times over. It's a bid for connection. Or looking across the room to see if you noticed what they just did.

[00:12:19] On the surface, it may seem like they're asking us to look at a picture. Watch another jump or listen to a story we've already heard three times before. But underneath that little moment, there's probably something much deeper. A deeper invitation. Will you come into my world for a second?

[00:12:46] The Gottmans describe how in our relationships, we have opportunities to turn toward these bids for connection rather than repeatedly turning away. So we want to turn into, turn toward these bids for connection. And I love that language. Turn toward.

[00:13:14] Because it doesn't mean that we have to drop everything every single time. It doesn't mean a parent needs to be endlessly available, which is sometimes, as I said, impossible. We're trying to keep the other children alive or whatever we're doing. The pot's boiling over. Whatever it is, whatever it is.

[00:13:41] Sometimes the answer really is, mommy, give me five minutes. But connection doesn't, it doesn't often require an hour, a full hour. I mean, sometimes it does. Sometimes you really need to sit down and spend long quality time. But sometimes it doesn't take that. Sometimes it's 10 seconds of genuine presence. Okay.

[00:14:09] That's when you're in the middle of something, you take that moment and you give them genuine presence. Your spouse too. You turn toward them. You look, you notice. This, and instead of automatically saying, good job, right? You know, that good job though. That's great. You become curious. You worked really hard on that. Tell me about your picture.

[00:14:37] How did you figure that out? You look really proud for yourself right now. And whatever, whatever naturally comes to you, which is, which is honest. Those responses do something slightly different. We're not teaching a child perform and I'll give you approval. Well, that's the red flag. That's, that's, I know a lot of people grew up like that, right? Perform, I'll give you approval.

[00:15:05] And then you're chasing that approval all your life. You know, we're communicating. I'm interested in you. Your world matters to me. You don't have to earn my attention by being extraordinary. So those children that grew up, you know, trying to earn love. They're also in a place where they're still buying their parents, still to this day, buying them. Right?

[00:15:35] And so this distinction really matters because our children shouldn't have to perform for our love. We don't want to train them to do that to the world. Ouch. Our little girls, our little boys performing, being something that they're not to get love. To do things as adults, to perform, to be people we're not, to get love.

[00:16:06] We need to teach them their worth isn't determined how high they jump, how well they perform, or what grades they earn, how much money they make, or how many trophies they eventually bring home. We want something much deeper to settle in their hearts. I don't have to perform to matter here. I am known here. I am loved here. I belong here.

[00:16:36] And maybe the next time we hear those familiar little words, Mommy, watch me. We'll hear them differently. Not every single time, but sometimes we may hear the invitation hiding underneath. Let's train ourselves to do that. We're going to hear rather than just watch me. We're going to hear, will you turn toward me? Connect with me.

[00:17:04] As a mother, I've been thinking about this differently lately. Because there are days when I hear my name a lot. A lot. How many times? If we could just have a dollar or even 25 cents for every time we hear, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama. Yes! Mama, watch.

[00:17:32] And I'm doing exactly what so many of you are doing. I'm working. I'm thinking. I'm planning. I'm creating. I'm taking care of the home, taking care of another human, trying to remember the thing I walked into the room to do in the first place. And sometimes I get caught. I get caught. I get caught saying one second. And then another second passes.

[00:18:02] And then another second. And suddenly, I've almost missed it. Or I've missed it. And it's not that I don't care. Oh, gosh. It's not that I don't care. It's because I'm human. Life is full. And so this isn't something I'm sharing because I've mastered it. It's something I'm noticing. It's something I've noticed.

[00:18:30] Because my children are growing right in front of me. And I'm hearing other people talk about it, too. My children, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That they're still little. They're still young. They're still my babies. They're still so young. And I hear other people talk about it. It just flashed. And it's over. It's gone. It's gone.

[00:19:00] They can't have it back. It doesn't work like that. Life doesn't work like that. And now they're off with their own families building. And maybe you've built something great in your life. And now you're like, okay, now I have the time. Now let's spend time together. But they're gone. Listen, your family's still right in front of you.

[00:19:28] And childhood, it doesn't announce. It doesn't announce when it's leaving. It doesn't knock on the door and say, just so you know, this is the last year that he's going to ask you to pick them up. Just so you know. This isn't the last time they're going to crawl into your bed. Or this isn't the last time they're going to sleep in your bed. It doesn't announce it.

[00:19:58] Or that this is the last afternoon that they're going to sit and play on the floor. They're little toys. It just quickly changes. One ordinary day at a time. And that made me want to become more awake to invitations I can say yes to.

[00:20:27] Not all of them because it's impossible. But more of them. And for me, for me as a mother, most of them. That was my aha moment. As soon as they laid my little baby on my chest. Telling you I was planning on having a nanny and all these things. Soon as they laid them on my chest, I knew that wasn't going to happen. There's no way. No way. I am not.

[00:20:57] I don't want to miss a moment. Always trying to memorize everything. I got emotional a second ago because my son, he hugged me in the kitchen the other day. I was doing something. I said, my hands are dirty. I was touching some chicken. I was making him chicken and I was seasoning it. And he said, hug me. And I said, I got to wash my hands. He goes, no, just ball up your hands like this. So you can hug me. I was like, okay.

[00:21:26] And he says, no, now pick me up. So I bent down and I pulled him up and his little legs wrapped around my waist. And he said to me, how long do you think you'll be able to pick me up for? Gosh.

[00:21:49] I said, if I work out really hard and I keep working out, I could probably lift you up forever. I don't know if that's going to be true. But I saw the worry on his face. He's growing. And I said, I said, do you want that to happen? How long do you want me to pick you up for? And he said, forever.

[00:22:20] And we both just hugged. And I leaned into him. And I always do this with my children. I'll lean into him because I know what it's like. I've been hugged. And then, you know, I kind of, I think as children, when you've had someone or you've lost someone to death or whatever it may be, you kind of watch who lets go first.

[00:22:49] And I've never told my children this, but I always let them decide when they're done the hug. Because I never want them to feel that question ever. Like, oh, you just let go of me first. I don't know. Maybe it's silly, but it's something that I do with my children. I always let them determine how long the hug is going to be. Because sometimes we're in such a rush.

[00:23:18] And I've always been ultra, uber, super aware of it growing up. And I could tell if someone's in a rush or if it was the last hug I ever got from that person. My brother. The night before he passed, I'm so grateful that we leaned into each other and I got to say I love you. We never fought once in my life.

[00:23:43] So this is such a healing memory for me to lean into that we, and my mom brought us up this way. Always hug and kiss. Good night. Hug and kiss. Goodbye. I love you. That's how we were. And sometimes my friends would be like, you tell your mom you love her. Even as an adult, I love you. I'll see you soon. And even as an adult, I would just shower her with kisses and hugs.

[00:24:10] And sometimes I remember her friends kind of looking at her either just really surprised or kind of like a longing. I don't want to say jealousy, but just like a surprise. But that's the way we were brought up. And I'm so grateful that we had that moment with my brother. So I think it's something that stems down to that. And I know there's a lot of people that I talked to, not a lot, but some people that I've talked to that also measure that.

[00:24:37] Are they pulling away first or am I pulling away? So especially with my children, I'm hyper aware of that to see who pulls away first. It's never going to be me. And so, so, so again, you know, that story I just wanted to share with you because it was a very special moment between my son and I.

[00:25:03] And I, can you imagine if I said no and have to wash my hands first and then maybe he decided he didn't want to hug me. It's a very special moment that is going to live in my heart forever. And I hope his too.

[00:25:19] And then, listen, I want to be very careful here because the last thing another exhausted, I want to say tired mother, but exhausted mother needs is another person telling her she's, she's not doing enough. That's not what the conversation is. The last, the last thing a hardworking father needs is another reason to feel, to feel guilty, right?

[00:25:48] To feel guilty for, for working or, or doing the things that he brings to the table. You can't stop every time your child calls your name. And, um, I, I just want to, I just want to make that clear again, that children also need to learn patience and hold, try to hold on to that.

[00:26:13] I think the older that they are, the more that they understand that, that, that they need boundaries. They need to understand that other people's needs matter too. Sometimes you see those exhausted mothers that all they do is give. And I've been there. Oh my gosh. I've been there where it's like, I love my family so much. And then I look in the mirror and it's like no makeup. And listen, no makeup is a choice for me.

[00:26:41] After the healing I've chosen to, to not do a lot of things, but not even being able to brush your hair because you're giving so much. That's looking in the mirror and noticing that, that you're just messy. We, we know it. Okay. The messy mom bun and a little bit disheveled, a little crazy looking because you're taking care of everyone.

[00:27:08] I remember catching myself in a restaurant and it happened many, many, many, many, many times. You know, I'm the last one to take a bite, the last one. And, uh, after, even after healing, after I, I got sick, I still didn't smarten up, but these are, these are the things you have to.

[00:27:33] You do need to put boundaries in place with your spouse, moms, and, and with your children. They need to understand other people, their needs matter too, and that they need to be healthy and to live a long life. We need to take good care of ourselves too. Presence doesn't mean, uh, constant availability. I mean, it's, that's a hard juggle.

[00:27:58] It's a hard juggle because as mothers, we do have to be available, but you know, there's, there's a, there's a line and we'll talk about this later. But, uh, maybe perhaps when we reasonably can, we must recognize the invitation. And I want to give you something just incredibly simple that you can implement today. Uh, I call it the 10 second turn.

[00:28:27] The next time you hear mommy watch and, and it could be longer. I'm just saying minimum 10 seconds or, or dad look when you reasonably can turn. And for me, it's kind of a non-negotiable because for me to, you know, that's so, so little for me, it's a non-negotiable, but I understand some of you have many children. So turn. You hear that? Look, look, look, look, watch me. Right?

[00:28:59] Turn, not just with your eyes or your head. Turn your body. Put down what's what, what you're holding for, for 10 seconds. Minimum 10 seconds. Look at them. Really look. Enter their world. Maybe say, show me. And for 10 seconds, you let them have you. Then go back to making dinner. Go back to the email or whatever it is.

[00:29:29] Fold the laundry. Invite them to, and this is the thing. This is a trick. Invite them to, to your world too. If they're not busy building and doing stuff. If they're bidding for connection, invite them into your world and let them build with you. That means fold, folding the laundry or doing what needs to be done. And, and, and, uh, if they're busy doing their own thing, just continue doing what needs to be done.

[00:29:56] Because the goal isn't to make every moment. Uh, how can I say it? Extraordinary is the best word. It's to stop missing. It's to stop missing the extra, the extraordinary person standing inside some very ordinary moments. That's what we want to see. We want to see the extraordinary person, which is our babies or our spouses.

[00:30:24] And, uh, here's one more little thing we do in our family that has helped us so much. I want to share this with you because it's, it's gold. Whenever I share this, when I'm talking to our families and our friends, uh, in the community, this has been gold. Daniel and destiny have a secret signal with me. It's our top secret. So just listen carefully. This is our top secret signal when I'm in an important conversation.

[00:30:54] And usually I'll let them sit in on a call or in a meeting with me and they're very well behaved. I have, I have people tell me this. Your kids are so well behaved, uh, even in church. And there's, there's a secret that we have. And I'm going to tell you right now. Um, so I'm in an important conversation or I'm at an event, a business meeting, or I'm speaking to another adult or child.

[00:31:22] And my children have something that they really want to tell me or share, share. They want to add to the conversation because it intrigues them. Um, they don't have to interrupt or, or wonder if I'll ever notice that they don't have to snap in mom, mom, right. And help the other person lose their thought or me lose my thought.

[00:31:46] So what they do is they simply either come over or if they're already there, they gently place their hand on my shoulder. And that's our signal. That's our secret. It means mommy, I have something I want to say, or I want to add something. And when I feel their tiny little hand, I look at them right in their eyes just for a moment, not to take away from anything important going on.

[00:32:16] But my most important thing, right? My family, my children, that's the most important thing for me. So I want them to know that I see them. I don't have to abruptly cut off the other person who's speaking and say, just one moment. I don't have to say that.

[00:32:34] I don't have to leave someone hanging in the middle of an impactful thought or, or, you know, as mom brain, we don't have to cut ourselves off and then go, my gosh, what was I, what was I saying again? But my children immediately know mommy saw me. She knows I'm here. I don't have to say, what I have to say matters. And my turn is coming.

[00:33:00] Then as soon as there's a natural opening in the conversation, I turned to them and say, okay, darling or sweetheart, what did you want to tell me? What did you want to share? And I listen. And I have this little rhythm because I think we're teaching two beautiful lessons here at the same time. Your voice matters. You're the most important thing to me in the world. Your voice matters. Your voice matters. You're so important.

[00:33:30] And so does the voice of the other person who's already speaking and mine too. And they have a thought and they need to finish. I have a thought. I need to finish. And when you have a thought, I'm going to let you finish. You don't have to interrupt someone to be important. You don't have to become louder to be noticed.

[00:33:55] You can learn to wait patiently and still trust that you will be heard, that you are loved. And as their mother, I'm also making a quiet promise. And I'm saying, oh, my goodness. If you reach for me, I will always come back to you. I'll always be here for me. I mean, I'm getting so emotional. I will always be here for you.

[00:34:25] Oh, gosh. Because I think of the moment when they do this to me and what it means to them. I could see their heart full. And I've seen other parents struggle with this. And I've seen, you know, the shoulders drop and that those children don't matter. But they do. But it just hasn't. They don't have this secret that we have where the babies know that they matter. They've known this since they were itty bitty, itty bitty, itty bitty.

[00:34:55] It's probably one of the most valuable things that I could share. So maybe, maybe that's part of what our children need from us. Not our immediate attention always, every second of the day. But the security of knowing that when I have something to say, there's a place for my voice here. That I'm important.

[00:35:23] I'm so loved that mommy is coming to get me. Mommy is coming to listen to me. It just takes a moment. But I know that while that is happening, she loves me with her whole heart that I am important. So they don't have to struggle. They don't have to fight. They don't have to compete. Okay. That they are always loved and included and that I'm coming for them. I'm coming for them.

[00:35:51] Oh, and I want to share this because there's something about Jesus that I find so beautiful. He noticed people. In Luke chapter 19, Jesus is surrounded by a crowd, people everywhere, noise, movement. And there's a man named Zacharias who has climbed into a tree just to see him.

[00:36:19] And scripture tells us that when Jesus reached that place, he looked up. I love these words. He looked up in a crowd full of people. And in Luke chapter 19, Jesus noticed one. He called them by name. And that encounter changed a life. Now, of course, our relationship with our children is different from that story.

[00:36:49] But the heart of it reminds me of something important. And Jesus was never too important. He was never too important to notice the person in front of him. And perhaps that's a prayer worth carrying into our homes. Help me notice. Just simple. Lord, help me notice.

[00:37:15] Not everything I can't, but help me notice what matters. You can ask him for that. You could pray to God all day long. It doesn't have to be just at night. It doesn't have to be just in the morning and the night. It could be all through the days. Ask him for advice. So that's a prayer worth carrying into your home. Lord, help me notice. Help me notice what matters.

[00:37:44] So now I would love for you to grab your journals and something to write with. I have a few questions for your heart. Tonight, perhaps ask yourself, when my child comes looking for me, what might they be asking for beneath the words? My children are so good at this too.

[00:38:11] They're so good at reading underneath the language, underneath the words. They're very good at connecting with me. Even when I'm speaking, they can see something else is going on and they come with a big hug. And how are you feeling? Are you, you know, just, it's just, it's important to be like this.

[00:38:35] So step backs, take two steps back and try to look and, and search for, uh, what they might be asking beneath the words that they say. And here's another one. And when was the last time I entered their world without trying to teach correct or rush them? Because, you know, parenthood, mom life, there is a rush.

[00:39:04] There is a rush. And I remember being so, you know, when my babies were just teeny, teeny, tiny, I promised myself, I'm going to slow everything down. Everything. Try to memorize everything. Because it's going to move fast. I was warned. I was warned by so many amazing moms and dads out there, especially my beautiful, beautiful mom, my beautiful angel of a mother. She said, it's going to go fast.

[00:39:33] Take your time. Take every moment. Take every moment. The best memories, the best memories I had was when you guys were little and it goes by fast. So I was so lucky. And if someone hasn't told you yet, and you've got those little newborns, it's don't try to rush through it. I know so many of our friends in the community are just trying to get over it. No, take the moment. And I know it's hard.

[00:40:00] I know it's hard, but you're not going to remember the hard. You're going to remember the part of, dang, I missed that. And I wish I could go back. And here's another one. Does my child know they don't have to achieve something impressive to have my attention? I always go through this with my children. Okay.

[00:40:25] I always talk about what, um, I mean, first we do our prayer and then we do our gratitude. And then we talk about the greatness that God put into them, affirming of who they are, who they are, the blessings and, and, um, just all the great things, all the great attributes that they have. And it's not tied to anything.

[00:40:51] And I never want them to think that they have to, to earn someone's love. Oh gosh. You see so many people falling into that trap. I see, I see my, my husband has fallen into that trap. I've fallen into that trap. And it's like, oh, it's so sad. The people in our community, it's sad.

[00:41:15] It's hard because you have to realize, and, and the best time sometimes when, when, if someone's been away from Christ and they come back to Christ and they realize, wow, he loves me for me. I am so blessed. I'm so, I'm, I've got royal blood. I am created in the image of God. I am, I am so valuable. I am so special. I am so loved.

[00:41:44] And it's sad because some people only think that they're tied to a paycheck or tied to something that they can give to someone or be. It's truly sad. And it's not until they lose that value for a minute and they see the way that they're treated. And then all of a sudden they realize who values them. Well, their father in heaven, right? No matter what, you don't have to dress a certain way. You don't have to make a certain paycheck.

[00:42:15] Your father in heaven loves you. Of course, you want to fall into your God-given destiny, but there's no deep strings attached. And it's such a beautiful, uh, awakening. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this. What if the energy boost you're looking for isn't in your cup, but in your cells? I challenge you to swap your morning coffee for Shilajit by Symbiotica. And here's what can happen.

[00:42:45] No crash, no jitters, just clean, sustained energy. Plus mental clarity and trace minerals that our bodies actually need. That are actually starving for, to be honest. This isn't just a supplement. It's an ancient adaptogen sourced from the Himalayas that supports mycochondrial function, stamina and overall vitality.

[00:43:13] Your coffee never did that. Okay. Let's just be honest. Try it for a week and tell me your body doesn't thank you. Symbiotica's Shilajit is next level wellness. And honestly, you may never go back to drinking coffee. Click the link below down in the bio and get your Shilajit today. And now I want to lead into another one.

[00:43:40] What is one ordinary moment this week where I can simply say, show me, tell me about that. Whatever your language is, but the show me moment. When they say, watch me, whatever language that is, that bid for connection. And you give them your show me moment where you fall into their world.

[00:44:06] That's probably the last important thing that I wanted to leave with you. And don't judge yourself. Guys, whenever we do these, it's a moment of realization, inventory, accountability, whatever you want to call it. And it's never too late to change if you start doing it today. Now let's slide into prayer because when it's two or more, right?

[00:44:34] When it's two or more, that's a beautiful thing. And it's biblically written. So here we go. Heavenly Father, thank you for the children you have entrusted to our care. And the marriages and the spouses, the Holy Covenant.

[00:44:54] Help us to see them, our children, not only as who they're becoming, but as who they are right now. Give us wisdom to know when to work, when to wait, when to set boundaries, and when to turn toward the little voice calling our name.

[00:45:20] Remove guilt from the hearts of exhausted parents. We know we cannot capture every moment. So help us be faithful with the moments you give us. May our children know they never have to perform for our love. May our homes be places where they feel known, heard, safe, and deeply loved.

[00:45:50] And when life becomes loud, help us notice the quiet invitations that matter. In Jesus name, amen. And my friend, there will always be another email. There will always be another load of laundry. I guarantee it. Another deadline, another, another room to clean. Sometimes just after the room you cleaned, you're going to have to clean it again.

[00:46:19] And yes, those things, they matter. They do matter, right? We want to keep our life in order. But life, life, it has responsibilities. But childhood has a way of moving quietly while we're busy living it. So you don't need to capture every moment. You don't need to make every day magical. Although we sure try and we should try.

[00:46:49] You don't have to become a perfect parent. I know we were talking about this earlier in the community. We don't have to become a perfect parent. After listening to this episode, just notice one more. One more. One more mommy watch. One more daddy look. One more opportunity to turn and say, show me.

[00:47:16] Because sometimes watch me isn't a request for applause. It's a request for connection. And maybe years from now, your children won't remember what they were trying to show you anyway. But perhaps somewhere deep inside them, they'll remember something far more important.

[00:47:43] When I looked for them, they looked back. They took the time. They looked back and they always saw me. They saw me. And I was worth seeing. That's what we want them to remember.

[00:48:04] If this conversation made you think of a mother, a father, a caregiver, or someone, someone raising little hearts right now, send it to them. Not to make them feel guilty. That's not what it's about. I want to be so crystal clear. It's to send as a reminder that these ordinary days matter.

[00:48:31] And if becoming unshakable, the legacy conversations has become one of the conversations you carry with you through your week, I would love to thank you for subscribing. I want to thank you. Truly, I really want to thank you for leaving a kind review and five stars. And this helps another family find us. And it gives them hope.

[00:49:01] And it helps them build something worth leaving behind, a beautiful legacy. And if you have children in your life, I know there's a lot of listeners that don't have children yet, but they're listening anyway because they want to be prepared. Come listen to little Destiny and Daniel's podcast on the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show. It's called the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show.

[00:49:26] It's screen-free stories and conversations created to plant seeds of faith, courage, character, leadership, and greatness in the next generation.

[00:49:38] And believe me, I see so many parents struggling with addiction to devices and also catching their little sweet babies getting caught up in things that are just not appropriate for them. And it's not that they don't know better.

[00:50:01] It's really, they don't have the, they don't have, what is it called? Like a, they don't have a big community around them. A lot of parents have moved off or the grandparents have moved away and it's just to them. And they don't have someone that can come over and watch the kids. They're trying to juggle it all, take turns.

[00:50:26] And they're trying to find out where they can, or most, most of the family, they don't, they don't want to outsource that, right? They're taking turns and they're juggling it. And sometimes their kids fall on things they shouldn't see, things that they, they can't unsee, right?

[00:50:46] So this is a safe place where your children can listen to the screen-free learning that's safe and faith-filled and guaranteed to build seeds of greatness in the children. So that's what they are building. And they came up with this, this idea, their mentor was talking and they, they, they decided to do this. And I said, it's going to be hard.

[00:51:16] How many episodes do you want to do a week? One, because you're going to have to commit. Two, two, two episodes a week. I said, my gosh, I better step up my game. If you're going to do two, I'm going to do two, two, two, two, two. So, so we're doing two, I'm doing two episodes a week and they are doing two episodes a week. So, um, they're just, they're building something very special for children and families.

[00:51:44] And, and, uh, and we, we can't wait. We can't wait to share the new thing that they're building. They got another idea. So they're building this app and there's a link at the bottom that you can sign up for. Again, a safe place. And this is, it just opens it up more where here it's screen-free, uh, learning and listening that you can all listen to together as a family.

[00:52:12] And this is a safe place where there's courses, there's music, there's, um, just, oh my gosh, so much. All the ideas that, that they need, they're sharing that with the world that they feel like, oh, I need, I, I want to, I want to talk about who God, who God says I am.

[00:52:35] I think that there's a section where I want to cover this and I want to have these stories that are important to be shared with these children. I feel like the music we listen to is so important. So let's add seeds of greatness. Let's have great music that they can clean up the house together with or, or draw and be creative. And they're just, they've built something extraordinary and there's a sign up at the bottom.

[00:53:05] So you could be the first one to know when this launches. And if you'd love to help to support the show and leave a gift so that they can continue to create these incredible screen-free episodes, you can do that. You can go to buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneur kids, and you can leave a gift and thank you in advance.

[00:53:30] And until next time, may God give you wisdom for the big decisions, grace for the imperfect moments. We're all guilty of that, okay? Nothing is perfect here. We're parenting. I'm going to cry again. I remember looking back at my, my mom one day and realizing, gosh, it's not just me.

[00:53:59] I'm being a little selfish. It's not just me for the first time being a child or a kid and a teenager, teenager right now. It's her first time being a mom. It's her first time being a single mom juggling through this all. It's her first time being a grandmother. Gosh, she used to sit, just sit on, when we had the lockdown, she used to sit on FaceTime

[00:54:27] for hours because she didn't want to miss a moment. And she was just there with us through the day. Just, just bring me diaper changes, feeding. I would put her in a good spot. Sometimes she's like, just, I just want to, I just want to watch. I just want to be there. I'll, I'll add in when I can. Do you mind? Oh gosh, no, absolutely not. Absolutely not. They were little for, you know, if you miss that, it's gone.

[00:54:56] You miss that, it's gone. It's not going to be the same. And with that, I say this, to have the eyes to recognize the little moments you may someday wish as parents, as caregivers, that you could live just one more time. Just one more time, right? You're not going to be able to go back.

[00:55:24] So make the memories now so you could sit back and, and I want to say fantasize about it. Just remember the memories. I sometimes sit and I think about the newborn moments that I memorized. I remember, I look at my, my arm because I've memorized where the little, my baby's little, and I'm, I'm pretty petite. I could fit into kids' clothing. My children were so tiny.

[00:55:54] My mom said it was a blessing. They fit in preemie clothes. So their little head would fit in my hand. And then as I held them to my chest, uh, their tiny little feet were right where my, uh, where my elbow met my arm, whatever that's called. So their little feet would be in there. That's how tiny my babies were. My arms are, they're not that long. Um, I'm, I'm, I'm tiny too.

[00:56:23] So I had tiny babies and they were big in their, in their preemie clothes. Their preemie clothes. Did I say new? I don't remember if I said newborn or preemie, but they had preemie clothes and they were loose on them. It was such a treat for my husband. He's like, Oh my gosh, we're going to have them tiny longer. There's some babies are born big. You see some of your friends' babies are born big and they were just so tiny.

[00:56:50] So sometimes I, I fantasize about that. I, I dream, I dream about, Oh, they were just this little, or I'm playing with my daughter's little doll. And I, Oh my gosh, you were exactly this size. I remember my mom doing it too. She's like, when you came out, you had a perfectly round head, like a little orange, like this orange, that's the size of your, of your head. And I said, what?

[00:57:18] And she goes, I memorized it because I never wanted to forget. So that planted the seed so that I never forget. So that I remember these things because one day when I'm 82 or 102, I want to be able to remember, dang it. Let's wrap this thing up. God bless you. Glory to God. Always. We love you. And we are so proud of you.

[00:57:43] Here you go again for showing up, for learning and for loving that beautiful family that God blessed you with, and for continuing to build strong families, strong futures and unshakable and unshakable legacy. This is becoming unshakable by the entrepreneur parent podcast. I love you guys so much.

[00:58:10] Thank you for showing up and pouring into yourselves and your families. I can't wait to talk to you guys soon. Thank you, beautiful friends, for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark.

[00:58:40] Listen together as a family. It's called the Osno.

[00:59:08] And remember, you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

[00:59:33] The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.